is the Love Child of Robert Hayden and Federico García Lorca.
Hi Eduardo,I didn't know about this because I don't follow the contemporary poetry scene very closely. I used to, but I found that watching others' successes alongside all of my own failures as a writer and a person to be too hurtful to me emotionally. It seeped into my personal life, I lost friendships because of how it affected my attitude and my self-esteem. Weirdly, after deciding to stop following poetry, one of my books won a prize. It made me feel good because it made me feel like perhaps I wasn't a failure and being true to what was inside me was worthwhile after all. However, I continue to not really follow poetry because I still don't have the power to keep from taking a lot of things personally, even though I know that I shouldn't. It's great that so many other writers have that power, but I just don't. I once did, but I lost it between 2000 and 2004 - I graduated from an MFA program with a very earnest belief that "the art of poetry" would prevail over everything, including all the business and networking aspects already in place, and I would be a part of that. Obviously now that I'm older I realize how naive and stupid it was to think that. And then I experienced four years of having much of my earnestness and beliefs crushed - I moved to a city for a girl who never loved me, who lied to me and left me, I was diagnosed with and now suffer from a degenerative cornea condition that has changed my life, and I spent two years temping, being turned away for real jobs the entire time, all while rejection after rejection after rejection piled up in the background. So how did I end up here at your blog? I have a google alert for myself because I love to occasionally find someone who's read something I've written and is engaged in the thing I've written. Reading others' comments about my own poems and how they might relate to their lives or how they're thinking about poetry reminds me of the earnestness I felt about poetry when I was younger, and for brief, illuminating moments makes me feel like "poetry" is, indeed, meaningful. On Keith's blog, I admitted that the post I had on my website for about a week regarding solicitations/rejections was written in a time of hurt and was a mistake to post - I'm a person and I make mistakes - I had done it hastily and from a place of emotion rather than intelligence. I hadn't even thought about Elisa in over a year - since the time she told my friend that she liked my poems in our chapbook. Elisa responded to Keith's post, making the issue about her. Your comments still hurt a lot, though - I find them snide, passive agressive and mean-spirited, and based on very little actual information. What do you know about me? You've never written me to find out anything about me, never gotten to know me or tried to understand what I might really be like in real life, so it doesn't seem like you know that much about me.Jason
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