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Sunday, October 08, 2006

The Koala Stance

So. These days the subway is always packed with a few peeps who are convinced a crowded NYC subway is*:

A library: where you intently read the latest Zane book and smack your lips at anyone who dares close enough to try and read what you’re reading.

A boudoir: where women apply rouge between their cleavage, pucker, and smear sky-blue eye shadow across their lids.

A snack hall: Never fails. There is always someone eating from a paper/plastic bag (with their fingers). A reoccurring favorite is a Fairway Rotisserie Chicken, seasoned “Latin Style. “

A daycare: This one’s easy. Imagine 10 rowdy kids playing musical chairs, while elder-lys with bouffants and canes look on.

A travel lodge: people straight out snoring and talking in their sleep.

But my favorite subway phenomenon is a pose I’d like to coin today: The Koala Stance. Basically the koala stance is when someone wraps their arms, and might even cross their legs around the middle subway pole, not allowing anyone else to hold the pole for safety. I’m not biased or anything but it’s mostly women that I see doing this. I have an unproven theory that these people, while in the womb, held their umbilical cord between their legs. Who knows.

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*Due to x I’ve only named a few scenarios I've seen on subway. I've left out about five thousand more.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know D, you really hurt my feelings by putting me on the Internet without telling me. I always tell you that when I'm hugging you, tight like a penny, and you promised to honor my wishes. Never mind now...

-- The Koala Bear

ps

The subway is also on Motel 6 train. People are always making out. But you didn't go off and put a motel sign on your blog, did you?

Anonymous said...

Diana,

You are being misleading. I saw you flirting with me when I slowly chewed my cheese that refuse to break from its dough. Our eyes met. It was on the 9. You couldn't take my eyes off my mouth and I couldn't stop reading the advertisements reflecting off your glasses. You wanted a cigarette. I know you did.

-- The pizza eater

Anonymous said...

Double D,

What the hell?! You are the one that asked to borrow the rouge for your cleavage! I said yes, even though it didn't match! Don't ask me next time.

Woman with the black makeup bag

Anonymous said...

You try getting some sleep after being awake for 20 straight years.

Rip Van Winkle on the Q

Anonymous said...

You are leaving out a whole group of people that ride the subway everyday, that everyone sees but pretends they don't: the Homeless. I can't believe this. You even dated a homeless guy once (at least that's how he looked).

-- Seller of the homeless newspaper