1. Sabrina Orah Mark
2. Dumb contests.
3. Wal-mart chocolate chip cookies. Where's the chips, Sam?
4. The Yale Younger Poets Prize. Isn't this Louise Gluck's last year as Yale Younger judge? Yes, I know I left out those two tiny nipples above the "u." I hope the new judge is a writer of color. Like Rita Dove. Or Yosef Komunyakaa. Why? I think it's fucking time another writer of color won the Yale. It's criminal. Though I think Merwin probably thought he was picking an Afro American poet when he picked Sean Singer's Discography. And I don't care what some of you might say: the art matters not the skin color of the poet. Blah. Blah. Blah. Shut up.
5. That crazy John Karr guy.
6. Michael from Project Runway. He's not gay! He even thinks questions about his sexuality are out of bounds. If it quacks like a duck...
8. My dream life. Yesterday, I dreamt I was kissing Richard Hugo on a park bench. And last week, I had a dream in which I was shucking corn at the feet of Fidel Castro. WTF?
9. Apple-scented candles. Yuck.