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Monday, August 21, 2006

Shit List

1. Sabrina Orah Mark
2. Dumb contests.
3. Wal-mart chocolate chip cookies. Where's the chips, Sam?
4. The Yale Younger Poets Prize. Isn't this Louise Gluck's last year as Yale Younger judge? Yes, I know I left out those two tiny nipples above the "u." I hope the new judge is a writer of color. Like Rita Dove. Or Yosef Komunyakaa. Why? I think it's fucking time another writer of color won the Yale. It's criminal. Though I think Merwin probably thought he was picking an Afro American poet when he picked Sean Singer's Discography. And I don't care what some of you might say: the art matters not the skin color of the poet. Blah. Blah. Blah. Shut up.
5. That crazy John Karr guy.
6. Michael from Project Runway. He's not gay! He even thinks questions about his sexuality are out of bounds. If it quacks like a duck...
7. Ants.
8. My dream life. Yesterday, I dreamt I was kissing Richard Hugo on a park bench. And last week, I had a dream in which I was shucking corn at the feet of Fidel Castro. WTF?
9. Apple-scented candles. Yuck.
10. Err...


Turquoise said...

Best list ever. This carved me up! :)

Steven D. Schroeder said...

Eduardo, I recall you being upset over the Laureate Prize last year too--I still think this ire is misguided, presuming it's still about the "most likely to stand the test of time and become part of the canon" verbiage. Even if it's serious, why does this stance make it worse than any of the bazillion faceless poetry contests that don't make any claim beyond "send us some money and we'll give you a crapshot at winning"? Or, on the other hand, worse than the claim that a certain anthology contains the "Best New Poets"?

Fortunately, I already made pretty much the same argument last year, before I won the Laureate Prize, so this isn't entirely motivated by personal bias. :-)

Collin said...



Eduardo C. Corral said...


I really don't care about the contest. That's not wholly true. I care enough never to send to that contest. Or to the sponsoring journal. The verbiage is my problem. It's so misleading. You know the poetry biz. The bullshit. The money-making contests by no-name journals. You are not fooled by the verbiage. I hope. But I think the verbiage is aimed at newbies who seriously believe their poem might have a chance to enter the canon if they win this piss-small contest. That pisses me off.

Most other contests/anthologies just promise a cash award and/or publication. This one has the nerve to promise immortality. Imagine! Finding the next "Waste Land" or "Those Winter Sundays" in a contest slush pile!

Of course, the verbiage might be tongue-in-cheek. Please! Maybe the people behind this crappy contest have a sense of humor. Please! Afterall, a sensible poet knows the "Best Poets/ Poetry" anthologies are blowing smoke up our collective ass. To claim a narrow selection of poetic output is the best is stupid and misleading. But the editors of this contest are doing something worse. Far worse.

I hate to sound mean. I know you won the contest last year. And I'm happy for you. But in the long run this contest amounts to nothing but CV filler. And quite frankly, not very impressive CV filler.

And I say this as a winner of piss-small contests.

Eduardo C. Corral said...

Gawd, I just re-read my last comment! I'm a bitch.

Steven, I hope you don't think the anger in the post is aimed at you. It's not. I like your on-line persona.

And I think you're cute too. :)

Steven D. Schroeder said...

Sadly, only my online persona is cute. :-)

Robin said...

Thanks....I feel better just reading this.

Anonymous said...


I think, as I mentioned before, your anger is directed at me for turning down your poems once. But come on now, that was long ago and you should really let it go now. Or at least direct it to me personally rather than the magazine. (I guess talking to me when I declined your poems was simply out of the question, right? And what you are doing here is much much better?) Slandering the magazine only makes you look petty and juvenile and, well, you said the other already.

Actually, the idea of the prize was to encourage experienced poets to send in poems that had more ambition. God forbid.

I'm sure that you won't accept that and perhaps this post will fuel your anger even more. That's fine. I'm okay with karma handling things.

CJ Sage