1. Tornadoes turn me on.
2. Each time I kissed my girlfriend in high school, I closed my eyes and pretended she was Harrison Ford.
3. I once dressed up as a sombrero for a class halloween party.
4. I love to eat Doritos drenched in tabasco hot sauce and lemon juice.
5. Sometimes I use my teeth to trim my toenails.
6. I don't like compound words.
7. My first celebrity crush: David Letterman.
8. I'm worried about my lack of faith. I want to believe in G-d. I really do. Sometimes I think I do.
9. In seventh grade, in front of all my buddies, I unexpectedly farted and then whispered, Excuse me, I just queifed.
10. It took me about ten years to learn how to pronounce "Massachusetts" correctly.
11. I like Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.
12. I have a teddy bear.
13. The first boy who kissed me was also the first boy who called me a faggot.