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Saturday, April 08, 2006

Random Thoughts: Food Network


Rachel Ray: I like Rachel Ray. She’s got booty. However, she can be annoying with her emphaticisms. But I do like what she cooks, despite her exaggeratory gesticulations. I hear she’s making millions now. She’s got a new show where they fly her out & she chills and gets to spend over 40 dollars a day. The funny part is every time I’ve seen her visit different places, she’ll walk into the local novelty store and buys the ugliest trinket/souvenir in the house!

Did you know she posed for FHM?? See side pic of Ray & collander. Basically, I think she's cutie pie.

Paula Dean: Chocolate covered potato eggs? She brings her two boys on the set sometimes. I think her husband die-vorced her and she got her life together and started the show (good for her) (I was too lazy to read the chef-ographys Food Network offers). I’ll admit, I would like to eat rack of lamb & potato salad & chocolate cake for Easter. But every day? I don’t think I need to learn how to prepare chicken fried steak and french fries. So, I love what she makes, but to be practical, I think it would kill me if I ate the stuff on a daily basis. I like her personality. She seems like she’d be fun to tequila shot with.

Semi Home Made with Sandra Lee: One word: boring. She’ll throw apple sauce & cinnamon into yellow cake mix and call it apple cake. I like more complicated recipes. The show also seems geared to “dear” things. Current episode: How to make an Easter Bunny Cake.

Barefoot Contessa: I feel bad for her! I recently saw an episode where she cooked brunch for herself & her husband and he was kind of ignoring her. Maybe he was just uncomfortable on camera. But--this woman is cooking crab cakes for breakfast--I thought the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach?

Oh, it might just be me, but it always seems like she’s out of breathe when she’s stirring something. I wonder if she’s an undercover smoker.

Unwrapped: I’d rather not know what is in a Vienna sausage.

Giada (sp.?): I promise, I’m not hating. But why does she have to over-pronounce everything? Parma-jjjjjohnnoooo! Re-Kaughta! It’s like we know you’re Italian already! Just arrange your antipasti. I’ve also seen her boss her kitchen-helper-guests around, which I don’t think is very nice. Not that this matters, but her family is loaded and I once saw an episode where she bought hand-made 700 dollar/euro shoes in Rome.

Emeril: I was starting to backlash against Bam! Until I a saw an episode where he reconstructed an entire Harlem School/Kitchen, supplied the kids with groceries, invited them out to his food show, pimped out the kitchen, and had artisans throw mosaics of Malcolm X & M. Ali on the pillars of the school. I might have had PMS but I remember crying at certain points. So nice of him! Previously, the school was keeping their oven door closed with string.

Also, helikes using butter, which is key to my heart.

Healthy Appetite with Ellie Krieger: Haven’t seen this. But since I promise myself, every other day, I’m going to start eating healthier, I might find this show interesting.

Sidenote: What happened to 2 Hot Tamales?

Ham on the Street: I’ve never seen his show, just the commercial. But the commercials are funny in a boy-sorority-ha-ha-I-can-drink-a-keg-of-beer kind of way. His upcoming show is about things that are fried & on a stick. I have tried a deep fried Oreo, so this show may be fun.

Iron Chef: By chance, I watched this show and realized it’s now a competition in English. I kind of miss the weird voice-overs. The woman actress/judge on the old show had a voice like Hello Kitty. I was amused. But I do appreciate that I don’t have to watch chefs prepare eel meatloaf, or crab eyes a la lemongrass. I didn’t find the meals appetizing.

Know I’ve missed some. Bobby Flay. The Blond Guy who tells you what temp water boils, and a dark haired man who looks like he’d make a good husband.

1 comment:

Xiquita said...

Just an aside, but Giadda (a.k.a. Bobble Head) has a worthless cookbook where there are more pictures of her than the damn food. Mario Batalli on the other hand is perhaps their best chef/show. He's a fat red head, but a fabulous cook. Rachel Ray - could she frickin gesticulate any more?! She gets really annoying to watch sometimes. Ugh! You should check out Lydia Bastianich on PBS - far superior Italian cook than anyone I've ever seen. MMMMMM...I made her cauliflower and penne pasta with pomodoro sauce and it was simply delightful.